Where are you this moment?
by OrlithNightfire
Summary: Spoilers for the series so far, and a maybe spoiler to the end of the series. Death comes for us all. 910Rose


**Where are you this moment?**_  
_

_Where are you this moment  
Only in my dreams  
You're missing, but you're always  
a heartbeat from me._

He had changed in a blaze of glory. Said he was still the Doctor, but he looked so different, more hair where there should be less, small ears where there should be large, brown eyes where there should be blue. They had got through the madness that was Christmas to return to the TARDIS to travel the universe and Time. Now she had time to think, looking at one of the few pictures she had of him, seeing him smile beside her when they got clocked by a camera on an amusement planet. He had given her some money so she had bought the picture without a second thought. She laid back on he bed, the picture held in her hands as she looked at the happy scene as tears began to flow from her eyes. Was it him, or was he trapped somewhere waiting for her to rescue him?

_I'm lost now without you.  
I don't know where you are.  
I keep watching,  
I keep hoping,  
but time keeps us apart._

She felt so lost, the future hidden by his brown eyes. Her memories clouded by the gold light. What had happened on the game station? How had he killed the Daleks? What had happened to Jack? These questions and more flew through her mind at blinding speed, making it hard to comprehend anything else. She kept hoping to see him come round the corner with his daft smile, and blue eyes. Kept watching for any trace of him in the dark halls of the TARDIS at night. But she would not see him again; he belonged now to another time, lost in the boundaries of the laws of time that kept them apart.

_Is there a way I can find you?  
Is there a sign I should know?  
Is there a road I could follow,  
to bring you back home?_

Was there a way to find him? To ask him if this was real, or if this was all a nightmare. This him had been kind enough answering what questions he could, explained this whole thing about regeneration. But was there a sign, a road that would bring him back to her? Back home.

_Winter lies before me,  
Now you're so far away  
In the darkness of my dreaming  
The light tore, you will stay_

She felt so cold inside knowing he was not going to be there to greet her, like the cold winds of winter howling through freezing hills. He was so far away from her only to visit the darkness in her dreams to banish it with the gold light that he had been reborn in. she was so afraid, he had always been there to protect her, to take her hand. But now her hand was in the ice grip of winter like her soul.

_If I could be close beside you  
If I could be where you are  
If I could reach out and touch you  
And bring you back home_

If only she could be with him again, could stand beside him to face the darkness together and not alone. If she could only touch him, to feel his strange double pulse. To be wherever he was, if only. But that was unfair to the one she could hear outside her door as he knocked. He came in, his brown eyes blazing with concern for her again. Seeing her tears he came to sit beside her, wrapping her safe in his arms. He was the same but different, but that was okay. She knew it would all come to an end someday, would she meet him in the light? But she would stay with this Doctor, he still had the haunted look of loneliness in his eyes, she would help ease it as much as she could. She owed him that much. She would give him a chance; perhaps she would learn to be friends with this version of the Doctor just as strongly as she had been with her Doctor.

_Is there a way I can find you?  
Is there a sign I should know?  
Is there a road I could follow,  
to bring you back home?_

They had travelled together for a long time since he had changed that day; they had become stronger friends, protecting each other time and again. Travels to worlds she couldn't even pronounce and some that had had down right silly names. But time would not be denied her due, he had bought her borrowed time that day and now death wanted his payment.

The planet convulsed and writhed as her mother had made the decision to press the button. Moondas would be finally destroyed taking the Cybermen with it. But she knew that she would not escape this. She sat holding the TARDIS key in her hand. She looked up to the sound of the sonic screwdriver. There behind the proxy-glass door was the Doctor, and some other survivors. He was trying to get the door open.

"What are you doing here? You haven't got time!" she exclaimed, rushing to the door.

"I'm not leaving you Rose!" the screwdriver wasn't working. He picked up a chair and started smashing it against the door. But they both knew it wouldn't break; this think could take a grenade without a scratch.

"Doctor…" he smashed the chair against it a again with a dull clang. "Doctor.." and again. "Doctor!" she shouted finally, he dropped the chair to the floor limply, his head bowed so his gaze was hidden as he breathed hard after his exertion. She crouched down placing her hand to the glass. Oh how she wished she could touch him. He looked up, his gaze so broken and scared.. "You have to go"

"No! I can't…"

"You have to, look at them" she indicated the frightened children behind them "You have to get them out."

"Rose.." a whisper of pain, of loss, of hate. He placed his hand over hers only the glass separating the warmth of skin.

"Tell my mum yeah, that she did the right thing. That she didn't kill me and that I love her ok?" he nodded. "And don't blame yourself either. It wasn't your fault. Time had to catch up with us in the end. I guess the beast was right" she said with a half smile.

"It's not fair!" he raged suddenly, eyes full of fury.

"When has the universe ever been fair? Now you have to go!"

"Rose…I" he said brokenly.

"Don't be alone Doctor. I meant what I said. I wouldn't change anything" she stood and he followed hands never leaving the glass or the shadow of each other.

"Even dying?" he gave a snot filled laugh.

"Well you know, that I might want to change" she replied with a smile. Here tears now flowing. "Oh my Doctor, I'm so sorry. I love you so much, I wish I didn't have to leave you alone" his eyes locked on hers his own tears now travelling down his face.

"I love you Rose Tyler. You are one special human." He rested his forehead against the glass, hers mirroring the action.

"Now go Doctor, save the day." She stepped back from the glass, the goodbyes said. The Parents of the children were trying to get him to move as the planet shook more as its demise was at hand.

He began to walk away, his eyes never leaving hers as the children led him, then he went round the corner and was gone.

8888

He watched the planet explode in a halo of fire; he dropped the children home with their parents, told Jackie. Been cried on, then he had gone back to the TARDIS. He stood looking but not looking at the console, until with a scream of sorrow and loss he collapsed to the floor, one hand with white knuckled grip on the console. As the tears cascaded down his face, as time continued to flow. The Vortex howling its sorrow with him.

8888

She never felt the moment of her death, only the blinding white light she now sat in. was she dead, alive?

"Hello Rose" a voice so achingly familiar she turned as her eyes met blue

"My Doctor…."

_To me.…_

KITG: right, the song was by Enya called "Where are you this moment" you should listen to it if you get the chance. holds up box of tissues right Gah late for work BYEEEEEE!


End file.
